- Luke 17:21
Week 22 Assignments
Disidentify and observe the operations of the self. Observe (without judgement) the behavior of the Not-I’s and their underlying motives, conflicts, negative emotional reactions, etc.
- Read Exodus as an autobiography of I.
Week 22 Transcript
As one has come along this far for many weeks observing the self, experiencing being aware, being conscious of certain things, being aware of what goes on in the self – therefore, experiencing Confession, seeing the fallacy of many of ‘em, experiencing it which is Surrender, and turning about from the ideas of the world, from the ideas of the conditioning – one finds that one is in about the place where the children of Israel were when they got across the Red Sea. That part seemed to have been fairly easy for them to do, beset with certain threats by Pharaoh’s soldiers, which are the many not-I’s that are attempting to control one to put I back to sleep, back into slavery so that they can reap all the energy that flows from X.
Now one finds that one was beset by many different attempts of the various not-I’s to regain power, to get I sound asleep again. It is not all a bed of roses because things are goin’ along pretty good.
First off, there will be efforts to want to go back to certain ideals. They may change a bit from what they used to be, to just be non-disturbed by having attention and approval. But they will be to have power over another person, to demonstrate that one is in a certain state of being, wanting other people to know about it, the temptation to tell everybody how wonderful it is. And of course this brings about many different things that happen.
As the story goes on the people that wandered over the Sinai Desert – which is the autobiography of each of us that we were in slavery in Egypt, which was totally in control of the conditioning – a Teacher came by, a Teaching in this figure of Moses, and led the people out. And they thought everything was all fine, but they begin to want to go back to Egypt and get “leeks and garlic and onions.” They only had food called manna, which seemed to have all the food elements and everything necessary. In other words, one has the Teaching, which is not an authority but merely a Light that allows one to see for oneself – to see what is. It doesn’t tell one “you must do this” or “must not do that” under any threat or anything else. It is a Light.
So they had a Light, a Light that guided them – a pillar of fire by night, and a bright cloud by the day. They had the Teaching with them. And very shortly they wanted leaks and garlics; they wanted to go back to have a gratification of some ideal, some little flavor or something that they had known in Egypt. So all of a sudden, it seems that what we have is not quite enough accordin’ to some not-I, and that we really “ought to have more.”
“Maybe we should have power to perform wonders. Maybe we should have power to control people. Maybe we ought to be able to make everybody understand.” That would be really be nice, wouldn’t it? “I am so delighted with the state that I have discovered, that I think everybody ought to have it.” So, all of a sudden, “I want to be a missionary and tell everybody. And I have the great idea that I can get it across to them. In other words, I’m going to improve them.” So that may be the leeks and the garlic and the onions that’s come back from Egypt. “And I want to give this to everybody.” But again, they have to ask, and then it can only be givin’ them a little Light and they have to do the work themselves. No one else can do it for you, nor me, nor anyone else. We have to do it ourselves. We can only be given a Light.
We will find that there is a desire for many strange little things that seems to pop up. And they all seem so nice and so reasonable and so logical and so wonderful. Possibly we will find that logic begins to get in the way.
Now, the teachings of the world, as we have seen, was four basic ideas – which everybody I’m sure has checked out by now – that it’s:
ideals; self-improvement to realize those ideals by various means of conditioning; and to have some kind of sign and wonders, or demonstrations of one form or another; and to blame something when those don’t come about – that it is due to this or that. There’s always somebody can tell you what’s to blame.
Now, there is many long records of what happens when people succumb to a portion of these; they become acquainted with the ideas of the Teaching a little bit. But very soon some of the not-I’s can convince one that they should be they mean something differently, or that they should be used a little differently.
So when the idea of SELF-KNOWING comes about, it’s very easy to begin to be identified. Maybe “I” can become identified as some name. Now, the Teaching has no name; but nevertheless, maybe we can come up with some name or some idea that we could have and, “I am a student.” And therefore, we can be identified. Whenever we say, “I” am anything – other than I am the Awareness Function of X because X is the only one that really is and I am only a function of it – but when “I” can identify with something, some ideology, some movement, some institution of some form or another, you’ll find then that that takes the place of self-knowing – merely to identify with something.
You will find that there is a not-I that says, “Well, this should be organized. It should be put in an organization so it can be used by more and more people and that it could have support so that everybody could enjoy it.” And all of a sudden, you will find that possibly there will be little institutions set up about it, and that people will identify with these. And that identifying then takes the place of self-knowing.
Another idea of the Teaching was FAITH. And Faith can begin to be the acceptance of a given ideology. And if I agree that I have accepted this ideology, I am said to “have the faith.”
And GRACE can be defined, and has been, as being the whim of some capricious god – that if everything’s going good, Grace is being extended to me. And by going good, we mean it’s going accordin’ to some ideal to some degree. And if it’s not goin’ according to that ideal, that’s an indication that the Grace has been withdrawn from me.
We will find that we are subject to all these temptations because they are widespread, and they are very much on the inner state. And the vestige of some of these more subtle not-I’s begin to work upon these areas. And they make it sound so logical and so reasonable that one really wants to return to the leeks and the garlic and the onions. But the one who is paying attention sees all the tricks of the not-I’s, is thankful to see them again and to see that they have, take, many forms. It is said that the evil one, the adversary, can clothe itself even in… appear to be an angel of Light.
So one is aware of all these many manifestations of saying, “This would be good, and that would be good, and this would be good,” trying to get one to think in terms of opposites – to get things all good now, never anything bad. “But how wonderful it would be to help everyone! How wonderful it would be to spread this whole thing to everybody in the world!”
Yes, maybe it would be wonderful. But, it’s available if anyone asks, but not because I should go promote it. But there is always a not-I that is a promoter that wants to go get it out to everybody – “Get it organized, get it together because, man, it will make the world such a better place!” And all these begin to work.
Then of course the other idea of the Teachings – we saw the four basic ideas of the Teachings, the Light that throws self-knowing, Faith, Grace and LOVE – AGAPE. And that can get turned around to being tolerant. And there will come a tolerant not-I that says, “Well, we can tolerate all these people that don’t have it,” and of course we’re caught back in again. But it makes it sound so reasonable to be tolerant rather than to truly be understanding. It maybe is not a great big difference, but you will hear the tolerance and we’ll want to be tolerant. This is to return to the old.
And then of course it says that the people wanted to have something different to eat than manna. They wanted quail – they wanted meat is what they wanted. And so herds and herds, or coveys after covey of quail came up to their camp. So all these many little delicacies will be comin’ along and it is so easy to change what we experience into something we are going to force an experience. Confession – we have a desire to tell everybody about all the times that “I” was in a state of a not-I and “I” want everybody to know how well “I” overcome them.
But remember, nobody overcome them – X removed them. How? You nor I do not know. They were rendered inoperative. But to gain meat is to gain strength in the general idea of the symbology. And, of course, we want to gain the strength of, “I did it!”
“I” gets tempted that it has power, that it wants to do something other than what it is, which is the greatest thing in the world – the Awareness Function of X. But it begins to want to take credit, to gain strength for itself. Some not-I says, “Well, after all, you are entitled to it, you did all that work.” And “I”, being 100% subject to suggestion 100% of the time, says, “Yes, I did do that, didn’t I!”
And “I”, then, has begun to eat quail and it takes credit for having eliminated the not-I’s. It begins to brag – if we may use that term – as to how wonderful it has accomplished, and as to how much ahead of the other students it might know that it has accomplished. And it begins to be it has caught “I” and got it to take credit for doing something that X did. That is to steal, is it not? It begins to take glory. In some words the word glory replaces the word credit. And I, as being an Observing Function, the Awareness Function of X, only X has all the credit. But it’s very easy for “I” to get hypnotized by a cunning not-I that’s still lurking around and says, “But you did do it, you did do that, and you are pretty wonderful.” And, of course, “I” being subject to suggestion is liable to fall into that.
It says that the Hebrew children out in the Sinai Desert eat quail every day for a month and they were so sick of quail, they couldn’t see the sight of it. Sometimes maybe one might find that one is saturated with claiming credit, and that many people begin to avoid one because one is constantly comin’ on strong and tellin’ everyone else what they ought to do and how clear it is to them. But remember, they might be eating quail.
So let’s be aware that there is not an end to the road – that there is a continual set of adversaries who are continually trying to lead us back into being identified with the not-I’s. And the not-I’s undergo quite transformations too. They recognize that maybe you will listen to a different story now. The old stories won’t work, but they are very good chameleons and change their skin and their color so that now they sound very respectable, and very delightful and possibly even spiritual.
So instead of Confession, the not-I will find that it is confessing how wonderful it is, how delightful it has succeeded, and how everybody should admire it, and follow it, and listen to it. So that is kind of an odd form of confession, isn’t it? And it might want everybody else to confess as to how miserable they are.
And then another “I” will come along and want you to confess what a miserable failure you are – that, “I haven’t done anything.” But all, is there any accomplishment? Or is there only reporting, being aware, paying attention, and reporting as to what is, and X?
In other words there is no successes and there is no failures – there is only Reporting.
But the world thinks in terms of successes and failures. And if you’re feeling pretty good today, it says you are a success, you have really made a marvel; you are a wonder now. And it’s easy to get caught back in that. And it says that you are maybe in another thing, “You haven’t done so good,” and one then begins to feel miserable and confesses, “What a miserable failure I am.” This is not Confession. In one case it is bragging; the other case it is moaning because one hasn’t self-improved. The other one is saying, “I have self-improved.” So because one has experienced certain things, one is still little in the Kingdom of Heaven. And while one is little, one is weak.
You remember that the Great Teacher cautioned people not to throw stumbling blocks in front of the ones that were little in the Kingdom of Heaven. In other words, it’s fairly easy to knock them out yet. And let’s be aware that there is powerful adversaries constantly wanting to entice one out. Even though one has passed through the door a little bit, one has gotta cross the Red Sea. There is still the constant temptation to go back and cross the Red Sea back into Egypt again. After all, they can’t operate without the slaves, and “I” is the perfect slave because it has access to tremendous amounts of energy from X to keep ‘em all goin’.
Further on in the desert they wanted water. They screamed that they were without water. One begins to want higher truths and more truths. One wants greater things than what one is getting. So instead of, “Well, I’ve been observing self for quite a while, I want some more and some greater and some higher teaching,” all the Teaching is in four words:
SELF-KNOWING, which never ends…FAITH, which never completes; no matter how much, there’s always a little more…GRACE, which is without end…and LOVE, which is boundless.
So there is no more “beyond”. There is certain things one experiences as one continues to live those. But somethin’ will say, “There is bound to be somethin’ more. I heard of some guy that can read through the back of a deck of cards. I heard of a man who could have a blindfold on and still read a book,” and all these little tricks – which is what they are, tricks – begin to seem that they must be somethin’ great and, “I should have these.”
So they want water, scream and say, “Let’s go back to Egypt – we’re out here starving to death. At least Egypt had all these wonders and marvels and so maybe we can go back and find some of those.” So again, there is the temptation to return back into Egypt – all along the way.
And then somewheres along the way, they wanted to be given exactly what to do. So a man went and brought them the guide, brought them ten rules of which he said, “Here they are. Now, let’s live by them.” So they took the ten rules and said they could live by them, but they thought of ‘em only as an outward behavior. And so one will try to see that certain ideas and rules are set up for outward behavior: “You should do this, and not do that.” But what those ten rules were set up for was to bring to light still more of the not-I’s.
And you might pick up those ten rules sometime and relate them to the inner state, not your outward behavior. They may and may not be fairly easy to live on the outward behavior; at least put on the appearance of livin’ ‘em. But let’s take ‘em to the inner state and let’s see what they do. Let’s see if we have still building little accounts against father and mother. Let’s see if we are still envyin’ what someone else has. Let’s see if we are envyin’ somebody’s job, or their position, or their car, or what we consider to be their happiness.
Are we comparing self – “I” – to other “I’s” around, over the country, whether they’re nearby or close or far? Do we see people with power? Do we see people with certain little ability to perform certain tricks? And do we think we would like to have that particular trick and if we only had it, everything would be fine?
In other words, the Ten Commandments which were given to the children of Israel were so designed that if they observed them as relating to the inner state, they would be great awakeners and point out vestiges of all these old not-I’s that were still around, still trying to gain power. If one only puts ‘em on as an outward mask of behavior, they’re, of course, very worthless. But if one relates ‘em to the inward state – vanity, pride, envy, lust, etcetera – one begins to see that they relate to the talking of the not-I’s and that they give great value to see if a not-I is still on the job.
We may be in this Sinai Desert for a long time. It is related that the children of Israel were in the Sinai Desert for 40 years wandering backwards and forwards in a little space that is not over 80 miles long. So maybe we could go very quickly though it, or maybe we can take a lot of time, but let’s don’t assume we can go quickly. Let’s assume that we might be here for a while. Because the not-I’s, while we have weakened ‘em enough that we have glimpsed love, Agape, understanding; that we have experienced confessing many of ‘em; that we are beginning to see things in a different way; that we might have crossed the Red Sea – that it’s not all a bed of rose petals.
Every inch of the spiritual life is work – that it may have the Land of Canaan at the end, but there is… remember when they went into the Land of Canaan, there was still a great mob of people to be destroyed, which means there was still not-I’s. So while there is six basic not-I’s and their master, mammon – the Four Dual Basic Urges – each of those six “I’s”, those six not-I’s, has a multitude of children. And they seem to be growing, too, and they are very, very cunning. They have taken advanced courses in hypnosis, they have taken advanced courses in propaganda, they have taken advanced courses in sabotage, and they are experts at their job. Let’s don’t underrate ‘em and think, “I’ve got it made,” because they will have you under control unless one is continually alert.
Some man said the price of liberty was eternal vigilance. He was not a religious teacher or a spiritual teacher particularly; he was a teacher of government. His name was Thomas Jefferson, I believe; but nevertheless, the statement is always the way. The most frequently repeated word in the New Testament is “watch”. So may we say, watch!
Watch the not-I’s and watch how their cunning tries to tell you, “You have done so wonderfully. You are really something special now; you understand better than anybody. You are probably the best student of self that’s ever lived, and you certainly are entitled to tell everyone else what they ought to do. And you certainly are entitled to give advice to anyone you meet that’s studyin’ because they are missin’ the boat and they don’t see it quite as well.” These are the ones where if we don’t watch them, because they learn to tell us what “I” likes to hear. They like to tell what “I” likes to hear – “You’re wonderful.” You know, “I” still is tempted to go back and gain attention and approval and a sense of importance every now and then.
Being in this, we may be out in the desert of Sinai for quite some time, but we will continue to remark about the various methods of the not-I’s in trying to be the enemies of the traveler on the Way to the Promised Land.
The Promised Land is a place where there is still challenges, there was still all sorts of challenges. Some of you may choose to read this story called the Exodus. Let’s don’t take it as a history, let’s take it as “I’s” autobiography and see that it is an autobiography of this person, told in a very beautiful symbolic story. And then whether it’s history or not doesn’t really matter to me, or to thee. But whether it’s a history of the travels from being totally involved a slave to the not-I’s, to getting out of it, and the possibilities of even fizzlin’ after thy got to the place might be a most interesting story to read if one considers it as: this is the autobiography of “I”.