- Luke 17:21
Week 8 Assignments
- Title a sheet: “What does this remind “me” of?” Document situations that one finds one’s self in and what it reminds me of.
- Title another sheet: “Replaying Old Records.” And document how and when an old incident is related or comparison is drawn to an old narrative.
- Title another sheet: “The Self Believes.” Document these beliefs.
- Disidentify and observe the operations of the self. Observe (without judgement) the behavior of the Not-I’s and their underlying motives, conflicts, emotional reactions, etc.
Week 8 Transcript
As we continue our effort of I observing the self, we’re beginning to find that the self is a very complicated, very complex, very extensive organism. That it has been made from bits and pieces, that it is in a decided state of conflict, that it is at war – one side with the other, with “A” with “B” – and that it has tremendous ability to hypnotize I. It is very cunning. It has been in charge of the house for a long time and it doesn’t want to lose it. It recognizes that it has to work in the dark, and that it does every effort to keep I from observing it.
So we will begin to another practical effort of observing “I”, observing the self, observing John or Mary. First off we will observe that thoughts are mechanical, that an association sets it off. So our first sheet today will be: “What Does This Remind “Me”…with quotation marks around it which indicates the self… “What Does This Remind “Me” Of?” and as one observes the self – continually being set into motion by similar situations in the environment. Something that comes along, the self identifies it as being “the same as” because it’s somewhat similar. One person is served a given food. Sometime or other in the past, one had a similar food and it was tainted and one feels nauseated. Or one was forced to eat it as a child and one says, “I can’t stand it, I don’t like it.”
Now I observes this association. And as we keep track of, “What does this remind “me” of?” – “me” with quotation marks around it – one will, can see much that has been a limitation to the organism, that has been experienced as limitation that is no longer a limitation when one sees that it is a simple association. And that associations are saying, “now is then.” And obviously one sees that the self equates “now” and “then” and has a tendency to report to X that what went on then is the same as what’s happening now. It never is.
Replaying Old Records
Another one that I will observe the self doing is that it continually replays records. In other words it replays old events. And one can see it start by a similar little association set off, “And this was like the time “I” was embarrassed. It’s like the time “I” – this is with quotation marks around it, the self – this reminds self of the time “I” was injured. It reminds self of the time “I” – quotation marks around it – was hurt.” And this is a powerful suggestion to get I, the observer, to identify with the self – replaying records.
Now let’s observe how often records are replayed. So we will put at the top of the page: “Replaying Records.” And we will observe how many times in a week that the same incident is related, the same story is told, the same set of thoughts lead down to where one is identified with the self and begins to feel sorry for self, or to be angry, or to be resentful. And one usually doesn’t know how these states came about. As we’re observing “What does this remind “me” of?” we will see that telling a story will lead one into this unpleasant emotional state and that one will begin to feel and act as though “now” were “then.” This is a reminder for I to wake up and observe the self.
Now another thing that is very interesting to observe is beliefs. Now, beliefs are something that one has been conditioned with that one has not observed, checked out for validity through the years. But they have been accepted because told by authority, because it was taught in school, because one read it in a book, and this all went into the self and makes up the personality. Now, beliefs act automatically. \One might say one thinks by association – the self thinks by association – and lives or acts upon what it reports to X is based upon beliefs. And we’re usually unaware of the many beliefs that the basic decisions or the six means of self-improvement and the self has accepted as being true. So suppose we begin to check out these beliefs.
So, here are some beliefs that self believes that may not be true. So here goes some beliefs. Check them all as you have time through the week:
“I” BELIEVE THAT “I” KNOW WHAT OUGHT TO BE.
In other words, the self knows what ought to be. And it has known it all these years and everyone believes, without having checked it, that one knows what ought to be. But we don’t like what is, but we know that we would just be so happy if things were like they ought to be. And “I” know what ought to be, of course. Along with this of course is a concurrent belief,
“I” BELIEVE THAT “I” KNOW THE FUTURE.
If things were like they ought to be now, “I” know what the outcome would be. But do you know the outcome of anything? A week from now? Two weeks from now? A year from now or any other time?
“I” KNOW WHAT WOULD BE THE OUTCOME IF THINGS, PEOPLE, AND SITUATIONS WERE LIKE “I” KNOW ALL SHOULD BE NOW.
So we all believe that we know the future. Let’s check it out and see if we really do. If we do not know the future, then we don’t know what ought to be now and we’ve gone a long way towards eliminating that basic idea of the world – that there are ideals of what ought to be.
“I” BELIEVE THERE IS A LAW OF CAUSE / EFFECT.
We’ve heard this all of our lives – that some things are causes and some things are effect. And of course “I” – quotation marks – usually feel that “I” – quotation marks – am an effect and that you and everybody else is cause.
“I” BELIEVE THAT EVERY EFFECT HAS A CAUSE AND EVERY CAUSE HAS AN EFFECT.
This of course is a sub-division of that great idea of self-improvement that if others that are to blame would change, everything would be all right. So, cause really is another word for blame, isn’t it? So we might say “I” BELIEVE THAT EVERY EFFECT HAS SOMETHING THAT IS TO BLAME. AND THAT EVERYTHING THAT IS TO BLAME HAS AN EFFECT AND IT’S USUALLY ON “ME.”
“I” – quotation marks – BELIEVE “I” – quotation marks – KNOW WHAT IS CAUSE AND WHAT IS EFFECT.
We think we know what is to blame. All the “I’s” used in these beliefs are quotation marks, so we won’t repeat them anymore.
“I” BELIEVE “I” KNOW WHAT IS GOOD AND WHAT IS BAD.
Don’t we? And do we really? Or is there any such things as opposites? Or is there only States of Being? What is.
“I” BELIEVE “I” KNOW WHAT IS RIGHT AND WHAT IS WRONG.
After all, one is considered to be insane if one doesn’t know right from wrong. But do we? Or do we only know what we have been taught was right accordin’ to the ideal of the world?
“I” BELIEVE THAT ALL OTHERS ALL KNOW WHAT IS GOOD AND WHAT IS BAD, WHAT IS RIGHT AND WHAT IS WRONG, BUT THEY BEING PERVERSE, OTHERS GO RIGHT ON AND DO WHAT IS BAD AND WHAT IS WRONG.
This is the only way “I” can feel disappointed, that “I” can get angry, that “I” can have my feelings hurt. It’s because “I” know that others all know what is good, what is bad, what is right, what is wrong but that they, being real evil people, go right on and do wrong anyway – most especially those of one’s family.
“I” BELIEVE “I” KNOW WHAT “I” NEED IN ORDER TO BE HAPPY. And, of course…
“I” BELIEVE “I” KNOW WHAT IT IS TO BE HAPPY. And…
“I” BELIEVE “I” KNOW WHAT “I” NEED IN ORDER TO BE HAPPY AND THAT “I” SHOULD BE WORKING FOR IT.
You see when a not-I throws this at the I that is beginning to observe, it is awful easy for it to catch it with suggestion and have it identify with that not-I that is giving such a logical, old-line set of reasoning.
“I” BELIEVE “I” KNOW WHAT IS TRUE AND WHAT IS FALSE IN THE FIELD OF LIVING THAT RELATES TO “ME.”
We all think we know what is true and we have never really checked it out. And we are going to look and see if we really do know what we believe. Now if “I” believe” something, “I” haven’t checked it out. If I’ve really checked it out, I am aware of it. But that awareness is only good for this moment because things are altogether different and situations are different in another moment.
“I” BELIEVE THAT “I” KNOW HOW TO GET WHAT “I” NEED TO BE HAPPY.
“I” know how to get it if there wasn’t so many people in the way interfering with it. So the only thing “I” don’t know is how to make all others see things like “I” do so that they will do what is right, so, and good so “I” could then be happy. And this is what we don’t know. And this is what most people who attempt to attend classes, who try to read books, who go to various kinds of mental helpers are all trying to find out is: how “I” can make others do what “I” know they ought to do so “I” could be happy. And of course, you put two people together with this same fundamental belief, it is easy to see there is going to be a fight. But not only is this between two people, it’s between “A” and “B”. “A” knows what ought to be in order to gain the Four Dual Basic Urges and “B” does. So there is conflict within.
And then of course this is carried on beyond two people. It’s carried into two or more great ideologies, two great nations, religious groups, or what-have-you. Each knows that if they could just make everybody see what ought to be and what is really right and what is good, the world would be an utter utopia, would it not? But, maybe that belief is entirely false.
“I” BELIEVE THAT “I” AM ONE AND THE SAME PERSON ALL THE TIME.
Now, as we’re beginning to observe self we see that all manner of different personalities arise and run the household for a little while. They go to sleep and another one runs it. But we have believed this all of our life. And it’s constantly being suggested, so it is one that I observes and reports to X that there is many runnin’ in here, and they’re all talking in the name of I. And it takes considerable awareness and maybe several weeks or months on the part of I not to get identified with these very logical sounding not-I’s that carry these beliefs.
“I” BELIEVE THAT “I” HAVE FREE WILL OR FREE AGENCY; BUT “I” ALSO BELIEVE THAT WHAT YOU DO DETERMINES MY FEELING AND BEHAVIOR.
Now, there is a contradiction if we’ve ever seen one. “”I” have free agency, but “I” can’t exercise my free agency because of what you’re doing. You are making me mad!” So, we’re saying a contradiction and unaware of it. Now to be aware of contradictions in the self is beginning to see the self. “A” says one thing. “B” says another. And ordinarily we only accept and take that for granted, and we never notice the contradiction. Now, here is one of the great values of I observing the self as an object: it begins to see the contradictions. It begins to see “A’s” argument and it sees “B’s” argument, which is definitely in contradiction. But they have only been up one at a time, or one thought it as thought trying to arrive at a decision. One thought one was one, trying to make a decision. But as one observes, one sees there’s first one and then another of a false personality takes over and attempts to get I to identify with it.
“I” BELIEVE THAT “I” AM AWAKE AND FULLY CONSCIOUS OF ALL “MY” MOTIVES AND “MY” BEHAVIOR.
But as we’re beginning to observe, we see that we’ve been asleep and that there is not-I’s, bits of conditioning, operating due to an association setting out a series of events.
“I” BELIEVE THAT “MY” ABILITY TO REASON IS INFALLABLE.
How often does anyone ever question the reasoning ability of the self? Obviously as I observes self reasoning, one sees the many contradictions, many of the fallacies and one is in a different state of being. One, at least while one is observing this, is utterly amused by it, is in a state of Vital Interest to see that such can be going on and that one has taken it for granted all these years because one was in a hypnotic sleep from suggestion of the world and the senses.
“I” BELIEVE THAT THE DATA “I” ACCEPT TO REASON FROM IS INFALLABLE.
We always accept the data as being infallible and that our reasoning ability is infallible. But how often have we really checked the data out? Or is it only a suggestion? This is something that I observes and withholds any judgment on. It doesn’t condemn or justify; it is only aware of the three-ring circus that is going on in the self. It is very vitally interesting.
“I” BELIEVE THAT IF A STATEMENT IS LOGICAL THAT IT MUST BE TRUE.
We are very easily caught by a logical statement from anywheres, from within or from without. I must observe logic.
“I” BELIEVE THAT ALL STORIES, PARABLES, AND ALLEGORIES THAT ARE BASED ON HISTORICAL FACTS ARE LITERAL HISTORY.
And we read a story that gives an inner content if I would but see it. But if I’m takin’ it as history, “I” never see the inner meaning. “I” never accept it as a parable that is really talking about, possibly, this nation called the self, with all of its many different ideologies, with all of its different personalities, with its wars, and etc. And what better way of describing that self than to relate it to an actual historical event? But what they’re really trying to get across is the inner meaning of the story as it relates. It is a form of a parable of the self.
“I” BELIEVE THAT IN “MY” PRESENT STATE THAT “I” CAN UNDERSTAND ANY BOOK PRINTED IN THE LANGUAGE “I” SPEAK, WRITE AND READ.
So we can read a book printed in the English language. We are speaking some version of it. Some people have questioned that – they say it’s “Southern lingo.” But whatever it may be, we generally accept it as a form of English and that we can understand any book we read. So we whip through it and says, “I read that book. I know about that.” And possibly, we only read some words and never saw the inner meaning, the relationships, how it is related to a story of self.
“I” BELIEVE THAT BECAUSE “I” HAVE COMMITTED TO MEMORY CERTAIN PHRASES AND WORDS FROM BOOKS, THAT “I” THEREBY KNOW THE WHOLE MEANING OF THESE WORDS AND PHRASES.
You know, certain people quote various little phrases or long phrases sometimes from a certain book or books and thereby feel they know all the meaning of it. But if you question a bit you’ll find they don’t. Now we’re going to question the self and we’re going to discover certain things about these beliefs. We’re gonna know where the self uses these words in order to trap by suggestion the self into identifying with the not-I, or whether it is just rattlin’ off mechanically. And I is going to try to see and have the aim of seeing all these little stories and quotations as having an inner meaning. Without having that inner meaning as it relates to the self, one may as well not know the words.
“I” BELIEVE “I” UNDERSTAND WHAT OTHERS MEAN BY THEIR WORDS.
And of course, sometimes we get very angry because we knew that what they meant was to insult me, or to aggravate me, or to put me down. And maybe that wasn’t the meaning at all. They had other meanings. So we never know what another person means by their words until we question them a bit. So I will not condemn or justify; it can only report these words were said and we’ll find out the meaning later. And one can continue to slowly discover meaning. And of course this is a second education for I. The first time I was educated was by conditioning. Now I is gaining an education – we’re talking about the observing I – is gaining an education by observing self, or John, or Mary. And most of what it is discovering is what is not true. Many, many years ago a great man said to the speaker,
“Don’t ever look for the truth. Look for illusions.
When you have seen an illusion for what it is,
you have then seen the truth of the matter.”
We would like to repeat that. Don’t ever look for truth. Look for illusions. For when you see an illusion for what it is, you have seen the truth of the matter. Now, all these beliefs are things that one has accepted as truth. Let’s look and see if they’re illusions. And if we should see one of ‘em for illusion, we have seen the truth of the matter. And that is really a discovery. It is a change in the inner state. It is to be in an entirely different state of consciousness for the time being. It is to be in a different State of Being. So let’s observe all these many beliefs and many of your own private ones. Of course the ones being considered here are some very common ones that most of the people have. But most of us also have our own little private stock of conditioning.
“I” BELIEVE THAT “I” KNOW CERTAIN OTHER PEOPLE.
In other words, we have come to a conclusion about a person. The self has come to a conclusion. It believes they know ‘em. But that person is ever changing and what they did at that moment that the conclusion was made may be entirely false at this moment. It is wonderful to be knowing a person, moment by moment. It is seemingly a conditioned state of affairs to believe that one knows a person and knows what they will do and how they will behave. Because even if they are in that Walking Sleep they’ll still continue to be subject to various and sundry suggestions and will be changed.
“I” BELIEVE THAT “MY” OPINIONS ARE CORRECT AND THAT IF YOU DON’T AGREE WITH THEM, THAT YOU’RE EITHER POORLY INFORMED OR YOU’RE SIMPLY STUPID.
I think that is worth a little emphasis. “I” – quotation marks – believe that “my” – quotation marks – opinions are correct and that if you don’t agree with them, that you are either poorly informed or simply stupid. Because, after all, “I” do know the truth.
“I” BELIEVE THAT IF “I” BELIEVE AND DO AS “I” AM TOLD BY THOSE “I” ACCEPT AS AUTHORITIES THAT “I” AM IN A SAFE, SECURE, AND TRUE POSITION.
How often we accept because someone said so or someone wrote it. And we have never checked out to see if it is only mammon, the Four Dual Basic Urges, that is intent upon believing and doing as one is told by the authorities so that one can gain the ideal of the world to be non-disturbed.
“I” BELIEVE THAT TO BE OBEDIENT REFERS TO BEING OBEDIENT TO AN INSTITUTION,
instead of being obedient to the nature of man as the Awareness Function of X.
“I” BELIEVE THAT JUST STRUGGLING ON IN MY PRESENT STATE, THAT FINALLY EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT ABOUT THE WAY “I” WANT IT TO.
In other words, “I” will struggle on towards improving the self to fit some ideal that has been told and then another ideal. And of course there’s party “A” that has an ideal as to what one should improve to. And there’s a party “B” as to what one should improve to. And so there is conflict even in the ideas of improvement. And we feel that if we just, “Struggle on!” So we want to check these.
“I” BELIEVE THAT “I” AM CAPABLE OF JUDGING OTHERS.
And “I” believe my judgment of them is fair and accurate. A great Teacher of the Teachings said, “Judge not.” But, of course we repeat His words and the self goes on judging. So, I wants to observe the self judging and see that the self feels that its ability to judge others is fair and accurate and that it is true.
FURTHERMORE, “I” BELIEVE THAT DUE TO “MY” ABILITY TO JUDGE OTHERS, THAT “I” AM SUPERIOR TO OTHERS.
The self feels that because it’s capable of judging Charlie that it is of course superior to Charlie, is it not? How could we judge it otherwise?
“I” BELIEVE THAT BECAUSE “I” IDENTIFY SELF AS A MEMBER OF A CERTAIN RACE OR CERTAIN NATIONALITY OR CERTAIN IDEOLOGY THAT “I” AM IN SOME WAY SUPERIOR TO THOSE IDENTIFIED AS MEMBERS OF OTHER RACES, OR OTHER NATIONALITIES, OR OTHER IDEOLOGIES.
This is a very powerful belief. Check it out. I is not a thing, really – it is the Awareness Function of X. But the conditioned “I”, the “I” with a quotation mark around it, feels that it is superior. One of the ideas of the world, of course, is to improve so that one is superior to others and can control them. And of course we feel that we have controlled them mentally when we have judged them as being no good, inferior, stupid, or what-have-you.
AND “I” BELIEVE THAT DUE TO BEING SUPERIOR TO OTHERS, “I” HAVE BEEN DISCRIMINATED AGAINST AND MISTREATED BY ALL THOSE ENVIOUS OF “MY” SUPERIORITY.
If you will observe the self, it continually feels it is being put upon. So, I will observe the self feeling that because it is superior, that it has been mistreated.
Now we can continue to work on these and many other beliefs. So I is going to observe what self believes. So our sheet will be headed, “The Self Believes…” and I will observe to see what self believes. Write it down. One may be seeing illusions and thereby seeing the truth of the matter.